Home Alone/ Vacation

So I've found that I'm not a huge fan of being home alone. While it does have its perks (i.e. control over the remote), most of the time, I just miss my hubby! He's away on his second business trip in the past month. This is very unusual for us, because in our 7 years of marriage, there have been very few nights we've been apart, and those were because I went to a conference. How the tables have turned!

It makes me realize that I'm a grown woman and I need to get over not wanting to be alone.

It makes me appreciate what single moms have to do.

When he's gone to Vegas, it also makes me realize how ready I am to take a trip somewhere. I don't think Vegas is ideal for a 9-month old, but surely there is a good, family-friendly place to go that is reasonably priced and within driving distance. I'm trying to plan a May trip and it has been a bit frustrating. My parents offered a week of their time share, so that almost makes endless options of places to go, but very few places that are available for the week I'm wanting to go in May (and it seems the options get less as the date approaches.) I think the fall-back plan is to use my parents' mountain home- which is lovely- and then just do a weekend trip somewhere close by to see something different. That's one of my things with vacation- some people like to re-visit the same place every year for the rest of their lives. Not me. I like to see different things. I'd like to travel to all 50 states and all of the European countries one day.

If we want to use the RCI timeshare week somewhere cool, we need to plan WAY in advance next time. So, instead of planning my May trip, I'm now having to focus on where I really want to go in the summer of 2012. Meanwhile, it's almost April. Maybe we'll get a good last-minute deal?!

OCD

So, I'm not sure of the exact definition of obsessive compulsive disorder. I have talked about it with my friends in counseling/ psychology and I think it does involve a behavior or thought that inhibits you from just living life because you focus so much on this one thing.

I obsess about these things:

1. wanting my house to appear clean to others (ha ha- notice I didn't say wanting it to be actually clean, although I do get that way when I'm alone in the house.)

2. about my weight. It's always on the forefront of my mind. How to lose weight. That I need to lose weight. The fact that I don't like the way I look post-pregnant (not that it was any better before, so I can't blame Kaitlyn on this one). The fear that this will always be a struggle.

3. Ok this is so silly and Micah has told me 100 times not to worry about this. But I worry that I somehow made Kaitlyn's head crooked. She tended to lay more on the left side of her head initially and now, I feel like her ears aren't even and it's my fault! She's awesome and perfect just the way she is - so this one, I definitely need to let go.

4. Money. Ugh. Constantly thinking about it. Sometimes worrying about it. Always planning with it. God has certainly brought me to a place of faith and trust in Him with my ability to quit my job (and yes, we have plenty to pay our bills and have some extra, so it really doesn't require faith for most people, but it does for me who is used to a large surplus).

Most people pay off their credit card bill monthly (or at least make the minimum payment.) Well, doing it once a month isn't good enough for me. So instead, I pay it off multiple times each month- whatever the balance is- online. So I may make 4 or 5 credit card payments a month because I just can't stand to have a balance on it. I pay bills as soon as they come in the mail instead of waiting until they are due. That has to be OCD right?? Angela, Kathryn...help me out here. Do I need some counseling?!

Words

When Kaitlyn saw the nurse practitioner last week, I mentioned that I was an SLP. She said another speech-pathologist mom she had kept a huge calendar and wrote down the exact day her child said a word. Well, I'm not that organized about it, but I did decide to make a list of the words she is saying, mainly for my knowledge when I go back and read my blog. I'm not trying to compare her to any other child or brag or anything, but, being an SLP, her ability to speak and communicate is very important to me and a primary area of focus. I'm sure physical therapist moms work on their kids sitting and walking and artsy moms teach their kids art.

I added a word to the list when Kaitlyn used it appropriately in context at least twice. By no means does she usually verbalize or always say the words in repetition after me. But she has said the following words:

up, down, mo/more, mama, dada, cup, ball, dog, hi, bye, book, go, wawa/water, no.

My only concern for poor Kaitlyn when I quit work is all of my speech therapy efforts (that are now spent on about 10 clients) will be focused on her. Poor thing- one day she will clearly say, "Mom, stop with the speech therapy please." I hope she doesn't rebel like I did. My mother would always encourage reading so much that I went the opposite direction and either read what I shouldn't (Babysitter's Club!) or chose not to read at all. I realize that was a mistake on my part looking back, but hindsight is 20-20. I need to start praying against that rebellious spirit in my daughter!

Allergies :(

We went for Kaitlyn's 9 month check-up yesterday. Her stats are:

Height 28 inches (75th percentile)

Weight 21.4 lbs (85th percentile)

Head 44 1/2 cm (50th percentile)

Since she has had a runny nose for two weeks with no fever, and has some dry skin the doctor feels that she has allergies. This comes as no surprise, but is unfortunate. At this point, we can choose to start her on either Benadryl or Zyrtec. I'm not sure whether to start medication or not.

Here we are at Dr. Nesmith's office.

Kaitlyn and Sophie playing.

This is her current favorite toy. It plays some annoying songs.

Clothes

So I finally went shopping today for the first time in probably two years. My mom and grandmother have bought me some clothes. I bought a few maternity outfits with gift cards, but this is the first time I went in search for normal clothes for myself. Kaitlyn tagged along and was rather good considering how bored she must have been.

I didn't even know how to navigate Dillard's and which section to look in. I had a $50 Dillard's gift card that did not get spent because I was so frustrated with their selection. They don't seem to have a good variety for people around age 30. They have the teen section and a bunch of old lady stuff. Some of their "designer" stuff is way too expensive for this girl. So needless to say, I had no luck in Dillard's. Maybe I'll go back and buy some shoes there.

Then I went to Express and found several shirts I liked- 2 casual and 2 I could wear to work. They were a bit pricey, but were buy one, get one 1/2 off. I guess I shouldn't worry about cost too much since I shop so rarely and we just got a nice tax return.

I ended up in Penney's. (I know mom- I always said I wouldn't shop there when I grew up!) I'm not even sure if Capri's are still in style since I don't know much about style, but I did get a few pair and another top. I had a $25 gift card to spend there.

I think I'm set for awhile. Mom said we may go shopping when she is here next week, so perhaps I'll find a few more summery clothes and not feel so frumpy.

When I got home, I was in one of my "cleaning moods," which don't come all that often lately, so I must take advantage of it! I took all the maternity stuff out of the closet and put it in the guest room, got rid of about 25 items, and threw a few things away that nobody should be wearing. Maybe I'll get in a spring cleaning mood and get rid of a lot more stuff we don't use or need. Some of the outfits I finally parted with, I realized I had not worn in 6+ years. My friend Lisa would say shame on me for keeping them so long!

9 Months Already?!

Last night, I calculated that in exactly 1 week, Kaitlyn will be outside my stomach just as long as she was inside. Crazy how much faster the time flies when babies are outside the womb.

Katie Sue was 9 months old yesterday. We don't go to the doctor until next week, so I don't know her stats, other than she's heavy and growing (mostly taller)!

-She wears some 9 month clothes and now is primarily in 12-month clothes.

- She walks well when holding your fingers and is able to walk while pushing her lion and baby stroller around. She is pulling up on everything, and cruising around furniture.

- Kaitlyn is starting to exert that little will of hers. She will occasionally respond to "no," and is starting to understand that when I say "no" she shouldn't smile in return. We are even having to discipline her a little bit (light thump on the hand) to help her know that she is not supposed to eat rocks that are in our ficus tree or Sophie's dog food.

- She is getting better at letting her needs be known through signing and talking. She consistently says "dada, mama, ma (more), ba (ball)" at the appropriate times. She will occasionally say "bye-bye", wa (water), uh (up), boo (book), and hi.

- When she is ready to nurse, she will sign "More" or "milk" and expect a quick response from me. I was asked the other day if she is trying to wean herself, and the answer is no- in fact, just the opposite. She loves her milk and I will probably have some difficulty weaning her in 3 months.

- She is down to 2 naps per day at about 9-10:30 and 1-2:30.

- Kaitlyn is a quick learner and enjoys playing. Her new favorite game is to chase the red ball around the room. Great exercise for my chunky monkey! She's at a fun age, apart from the discipline (which I realize will be ongoing for the rest of her childhood!!)

We babysat Cousins Hunter and Caleb last Saturday so Josh and Melissa could go on a date. We are excited to be keeping Hunter for 2 weeks this summer while they go on a mission trip. He and Kaitlyn are almost exactly 9 months apart.

Look at those luscious lips! Don't think she'll need collagen injections.
Playing with friend, Mariah.
Let me in to get Sophie's food!!!

Big red ball (well worth the $2.50 at Wal-Mart)

4 Weeks Notice

Last Wednesday, I gave my notice at work to change my status from part-time to PRN, effective 3/30. My boss and supervisor were very supportive and understanding of my decision. While I love my patients, my priorities have just changed in the past 9 months. I never pictured myself as a stay-at-home mom; I always thought I would work full-time. My mother did it and I turned out okay! But as we got pregnant and throughout the pregnancy, we felt more peaceful about me staying on part-time than full-time, although we took a large pay-cut. I think it was a good decision because it helped me to cut down my work caseload significantly, spend plenty of time with Kaitlyn, yet still keep up my professional skills.

I've been back part-time for 6 months now, with my good friend being Kaitlyn's primary caregiver on Mondays and Wednesdays, and my mother-in-law being my back-up when Kaitlyn was sick. I always thought it would get easier dropping her off and going to work. It never did. Now, once I was at work and got focused on the daily tasks, I was fine. I thought it would be the perfect balance of work and staying home- but in a way, I felt like I never could give myself fully to either one. I would feel guilty if I wasn't with Kaitlyn when she was sick. I would feel guilty if I couldn't stay late at work to wrap things up. It was a difficult balance that I'm sure many working mothers deal with all the time.

After giving my notice this past week, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I knew we had made the right decision for our family. Now the plan is for me to be like a substitute therapist- I will not be on a regular schedule (except thru April until they find a replacement and covering 1 weekend a month), and will rather fill in to cover full-time employee's vacations. This will keep my skills up and give me the fulfillment of working, yet only occasionally.

Let me be quick to say that I know not every woman has the option to stay home and many, if given the option would choose not to stay home. We all must do what we feel like is best for our families and for us personally! I am thankful that it is an option for us (although our lifestyles will have to change a bit!) I'm grateful for a supportive husband who is hard-working.

So what now? I get the summer off again (and this time don't have a newborn!) I'm really looking forward to more extended trips to Louisiana to visit my parents and grandparents. I'm also looking forward to having all the holidays off! Yea! I'm trying to think of creative, budget-minded traveling ideas with the family. I like having my priorities in order, and know that when the time comes again (perhaps when Kaitlyn or our youngest is school-age), I can easily find a job in my field. The good thing about a speech pathology degree is that I can use it all the time with my own child!